Funny Definations
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Best Quotes on Success
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein
The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.
- Moliere
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- Lao Tzu
Behind every brilliant performance there were countless hours of practice and preparation.
- Eric Buttterworth
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
- Seneca
Both fortune and love befriend the bold.
- Ovid
In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein
Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity.
- Patti Wilson
The most important single ingredient in the formula for success is knowing how to get along with people.
- Theodore Roosevelt
I will pay more for the ability to deal with people before any other ability under the sun.
- John D. Rockefeller
A good plan vigorously executed right now is far better than a perfect plan executed next week.
- George S. Patton
They can conquer who believe they can.
- Virgil
Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
- Thomas Jefferson
If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison
Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.
- Thomas J. Watson
What is a friend?
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchill
A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
- Unknown
A friend is one with whom you are comfortable, to whom you are loyal, through whom you are blessed, and for whom you are grateful.
- William Arthur Ward
A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.
- Unknown
A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.
- Unknown
Friends: people who know you well, but like you anyway.
- Unknown
What is a friend? I will tell you . . . . it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.
- Frank Crane
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford
Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
- Ed Cunningham
FREE SMS API was founded in 2010 purely out of necessity to offer mobile features to the developers and consumers looking to enhance the functionality of their websites. The result of this is the FREE SMS API, a free text messaging service that allows any website or web application to send SMS messages to its users. The developers can register at absolutely no cost and commence integrating our API with their websites.
Silencing the Negative Inner Voice
Usually somewhere along the way in our journey of life, we have come across someone who tells us that we’re not good at doing something. It could be writing, or singing, or dancing, or speaking. Anything. And, we believe them. The tragedy can come from not following our dreams because we always hear that one negative voice telling us that we’re no good. It doesn’t even matter how many other people we come across who will tell us yes we are good at doing something, we always remember that one negative voice. It’s time to move past the negative voice. Here’s how:
1. Do it anyway — do you love singing? Then sing. How about writing? If you love it, do it. That’s the only reason. It brings you joy, do it. Life is too short to not do the things we love because some misguided person told us not to do it.
If we all listened to these negative people then some of the greatest life stories would never happened. Take this for example:
“Many years ago a young man mustered enough courage to ask a young woman to dance. After he danced with her for a few minutes, the woman told him he was a lousy dancer. She complained that he danced like a truck driver.
To be sure, this bad experience would be enough for most people to quit dancing for good. Watching television or sitting around being bored would be more appealing than dancing again. Yet this man developed a passion for dancing and continued to dance for many decades.
In fact this man became known as one of the great dancers of modern times. By the early nineties, when he died, he had 500 dance schools named after him. At one time, he had been on television for eleven years straight, showing people from all walks of life – including truck drivers – how to dance.”
(excerpt from The Joy of Not Working by Ernie Zelinski)
Who was this man? None other than Arthur Murray. Luckily he didn’t let that one woman’s comment stop him from doing what he loved.
Or did you know that George Lucas spent four years shipping the script for Star Wars around to the various studios and racking up numerous rejections in the process? If he’d let his negative inner voice get to him he would never have ended up having the highest grossing film of all time.
2. Brainstorm and Break Apart — Think of all the steps you will need to do to accomplish the one thing you really want to do above all else. Break the ultimate end goal into smaller tasks and then just start plugging away at them. It’s far easier to take one small step and to keep going than getting frustrated because you haven’t managed to fulfill the ultimate goal yet.
3. Take small steps — so you want to write the next great American novel but your English teacher told you that a three-year old could write better than you. Or maybe they told you not to waste your time doing something that you’ll never be able to make any money at. To get past this, take small steps. Instead of getting frustrated because you can’t write your novel, write a short story instead. Write articles. Write, write, and write some more. Each time you write you will be gaining confidence in your ability. You’ll soon be able to see that you are able to write because you have actual examples. Each step you take will also bring you into contact with new opportunities and new ideas and one step closer to your ultimate dream. Just keep doing whatever it is that you love doing. You will also find that you are happiest when you are doing whatever it is that you love doing. This will also encourage to keep going.
4. Remember the big picture — whenever you get bogged down by the day to day issues, think back to the big picture. What is it that you want to accomplish in the end? What is it that you really, really want to do? Think how great it will feel when it actually happens. Focus on that. Ignore the little things. They’ll soon be in the past.
5. Reflect — Think back on how far you’ve already come. You’ve taken great strides already. Think how great it felt when you were able to accomplish some of those small steps.
6. Focus on something else —whenever you hear that voice, tell it to “shut up” or think of putting up a Do Not Disturb sign for your inner critic and then think of something positive in your life. Think about a loved one, your dog, a funny joke, anything to get yourself back in a positive mind set. Also, instead of that inner critic create for yourself an Inner Supporter.
7. Go for a walk — sometimes just getting up and doing something physical gives us enough endorphins to actually feel better about ourselves. When we feel better about ourselves, it’s easier to accomplish our goals.
8. Listen to your heart — whatever it is that you really want to do with your life, it’s not going to go away. It will always be there. It will also kill you to see someone else doing that thing you really wanted to do with your life. The tragedy is when it turns into a regret that you never took the chance to even try.
9. Greatest Critic Becomes Greatest Supporter — remember when you finally do succeed that most negative person who said you could never do it, will probably be the loudest person to say, “I knew they could it”. It’s human nature. And if you have no idea where your 4th grade English teacher is now, just think what great revenge it is when you know they’re going to read your novel and just say, “Wow”. Maybe you could even send them a copy.
10. Have Faith — it’s your life not someone else’s. So, LIVE IT! You can never make someone else happy by living the way they want you to live. You’ll only end up making yourself miserable and that person will never
Get MD5 of a String
echo -n 'Mary had a little lamb' | md5sum
echo -n 'Mary had a little lamb' | openssl md5
How To Avoid Any Arguments
20th Century Warrior
Know your favourite commands
For all you *inx guys, run this command in terminal to know your most used commands.
history | awk '{a[$2]++ } END{for(i in a){print a[i] " " i}}' | sort -rn | head
here’s mine top 10 commands:
156 vim
102 ll
102 cd
58 php
50 ssh
36 ping
33 mv
30 mysql
30 chmod
18 tar







